Open your DAW.

Scroll through your plugins. Really look at the names.

Decapitator. Smack Attack. Fat Channel. FreakQ. Serum.
Tell me this doesn’t sound like a side effects warning at the end of a pharmaceutical commercial.

“Ask your doctor if Valhalla Supermassive is right for you. Side effects may include space-time dilation, reverb envy, and the inability to finish tracks.”

I’m not saying we’re addicted.
I’m saying we’re branding like it.

Plugin Names Used to Describe What They Did. Now They Describe Who You’ll Become.

Once upon a time, plugin names were delightfully boring. You had EQ One. Compressor Pro. Reverb 2.0. They were like audio software written by engineers who had never seen sunlight — honest, humble, and deeply uncool.

Then something changed.

Somewhere between the rise of boutique plugin developers and the fall of attention spans, naming got spicy. Today’s plugins don’t just say what they do — they hint at an experience. A transformation. An identity.

Soundtoys didn’t release “Saturation Enhancer Pro.”
They gave us Decapitator.

Because who wants a boring harmonic exciter when you could have audio violence in a box?

Drugs. Weapons. Mythology. Go On…

Let’s break it down:

• Addiction-themed names: Smack Attack. Crack. Dopamine.
  You're not buying a plugin — you're chasing a high. A sonic fix. The one-button magic hit that finally makes your snare “feel” right.

• Violent names: Decapitator. Pulveriser. Bitcrusher.
  Not just tools — weapons. You’re not EQ’ing your vocals. You’re shaping them with fire and force. (At least, that’s what the UI implies.)

• Mystical or divine: Valhalla. Serum. Omnisphere.
  Plugins with names that whisper ancient secrets. Use them, and you shall transcend your earthly stems.

• Weirdly sensual or bodily: Fat Channel. Warmy EP1A. Soothe. Lush.
  That’s right. We’re describing sound with the language of lotion commercials. And it’s working.

These names aren't just clever. They’re branding spells — whispered promises that you’re one plugin away from being a better producer.

The Real Reason? It’s Not About Sound. It’s About Hope.

We don’t buy plugins because we’re rational. We buy them because we’re tired.

Tired of that one track that won’t come together. Tired of tweaking the same snare for four hours. Tired of thinking our mix isn’t “warm” enough — whatever that means.

So we scroll Plugin Boutique, see a name like God Particle or Lifeline Expanse, and we feel it. That dopamine twitch. That tiny “maybe this is the one” rush.

That’s what these names are selling: hope in VST format.

Final Thought: Let’s Not Pretend We’re Above It

I’m not dunking on plugin devs. Honestly? I love these names. I have favorites. I once bought a delay plugin called Replika XT purely because it sounded like a Blade Runner character. I regret nothing.

But next time you're surfing for a new compressor, ask yourself:

“Do I need this? Or did I just get seduced by something called Devastator with a UI that looks like a reactor core?”

And then… buy it anyway.
Because we’re all just trying to feel something.